Aiutoooooooooooo !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Why? Because I want to put the record straight and make the situation worse? Why I can never do / say the right thing at the right time? Maturity? Bad luck? What's wrong?
tremble. I cry. And I'm in a living room full of people. Anger. So much anger. Anger because I have to start all over again. This time I really wanted. And where do I start? From what?
Void. Empty empty. My place is Dublin. It is not Italy. I do not know where it is. I do not know ... ..
Dad ... why? Why? Mariano did not like? It was too similar to you? Or maybe too different? Or maybe I do not want to stop me with someone? I am destined to be alone ... they are too violent. Maybe it's better that way.
Maybe I need someone who understands me. They are violent as you were. But Mom knew you were a good man. Except that unlike me ... you were mature. Always knew what to do and when. I've never learned. I try hard, but I can not really. I will never be mother, wife. I need me the baby sitter, who always tell me what to do. But who wants someone like me?
But I want? I do not want to stay in Dublin for life. That's why I liked Mariano? Because in him I could see my return ticket to Italy? Of course, I was comfortable it was to San Vito. But you say that was why, that's why, I can not let it go? Perhaps it had become more of a establishing a manifestation of feelings?
The signs were clear ... but this time because of this divine right escapes me. After all, I with him, before all this, there I was fine. I had my doubts during the trip, but eventually I came to see him happy and in love. Perhaps the signs were not for me, in effect, not to understand what I wanted, but to inform me that he would not have wanted more.
So where are the signs for me? What should I do now? Talk about ... something ... tell me if I act on my own because I do more harm than already done!
He has already forgotten me. He has already set aside. See the room without a frog and the advent calendar made me more harm that gave me the shove. I was stupid. But the anger has made me forget that the ashtrays were flying in that last year in Milan. Yet another error. Yet another wrong time.
Bah, enough. I lost. Horned and clubs. I wanted to tell him that he had been a turd in the hope that retrace his steps. I misjudged it again. Many mistakes and no chance to fix it. I wonder what I did in my previous life, because in this I can not think of anything.
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